Let me see
If I can be like him
In this one regard
Because the other ones
Sure aren't good
Especially now
But enough of that
That's for him to talk about
If he should want
Though he'd do well
To talk of other things
But what do I know
I'm just an upside down Peach
And a pink one at that
Empowered to talk
On his behalf
About what he's doing
In the month to come
For starters yes
It's this
The Able Peach Report
The Latest News
From Petrie's Little Orbit
Because he's a planetary body
Or some such nonsense
That he took for being clever
Though as ever
Many will shake their head
And loudly sigh
Why oh why
You're not that funny
Though he would argue
That like all the arts
Including the Martial ones
In some good way
Art is subjective
And he is subjectively funny
But I digress
As Peaches are wont to do
Even those upside down
And a lovely pink like me
But I'll try and do better
And just give it to you straight
Without too much of that
But beyond this monthly report
And the regular flow
Of goodly rhyming
Which he will be posting
Like fingers crossed
Each and every blessed day
He has found a way
To be inspired
To write some stories
For the heroic Peach
Which is always good
Because we need more Peachy tales
As James is not enough
And it just so happens
That he's got the coolest title
That a peach could have
That I think I can share with you
Because you're cool and all
And Pechemar: The Body Peach
Is too cool a title
Not to share
Though will it be
A limited series
Or a little graphic novel
What's the best
For an Indie newb like him
Because he's thinking comic
Like with a campaign everything
Though he should figure the story out
And get some writing writ
Before he launches it
Though here again
I am just a peach
And what do I know
Also not to set his world upside down
What about me
For having a story of my own
Just because
I don't have no powers of my own
That don't mean
I can't have myself a comic
Or even a comic strip
Because I'm freehand formed
Unlike Peach himself
But he's got the nightmare body
And I'm down side up
So go with the flashy sure
I get it yeah
But I don't have to like it
So April's got the report of course
And the plans for a fuzzy story
With the drawing of me
But up for sale
Because I am awesome
And who wouldn't want to own some peachy art
Not that you asked
But I had to blurt it out
I just couldn't help myself
He's also ramping up
The beating of the drum
On sale of his shirts
As he'll be sharing their existence
Yes further and wider
Than he has so far
Though they're too cheeky for some
As a confident bear
And a Homicidal Pony
Are a little much
Though there the serious mind
That some will find
Much more to their liking
So fingers crossed
People will pay the cost
For one of his tees
Because summer's coming
And don't you need something cool to wear
As for anything else
He has his Strup
A weekly thing
That I'll be taking over
And making good
So expect to see it
A month from now
Because it needs work
And peaches aren't known
For being the swiftest
Is that but all
Well his mind is always whirring
With clicks to show activity
That must be a pain
To his lady love
Or would but be
If he had him one
Which suddenly seems
An unnecessary thing to add
But what can I do
I'm just a peach and he won't give me a story
So let him take the hit
Though to his credit
He's recently been
On the internet air
Yes over there
https://happs.tv/invite/@CharlesPetrie
Where you should go yourself
And not just for him
But many others too
As the 'Scope has sunk
And it's simply Happseriffic
To watch the people do their thing
Or do it yourself
Just tell 'em Petrie sent ya
In any event
I can always return
In a goodly week or two
if he's got news to share with you
Because I like to do that
Not that I have a choice
Because I'm like his voice
His inner Peach
Ootheg by name
For I am out of the glebe
Which is a real true word
Just look it up
If you don't believe me
So I guess I could
Yes rhyme like him
And have you leaving
With a clearer understanding
Than he's been known to do
So maybe I should
Yes take the poetry over too
Because I am good
Though unlike Petrie
I ain't ever rhymed
The hundred fields of March
Whatever a field is worth
Because I forget
But I'm certain sure
Petrie will happily answer
That very question
Because he loves to talk about himself
Like all you humans do
And now I can scarcely wait
To come on back
And share the news
Of the handsome Petrie writer
So if you ask for me
I can scarcely deny you
So I'll expect your messages
To start pouring in
In 5 4 3 2 1...
Oh but wait
Such a peachy thing to do
As I almost forgot
To mention by name
The prompter of this report
Though on second thought
To maintain their privacy
Which they might want to do
I'll just say
It was Petrie's best trip to
The grocery store
That he made all week
And it's that little chat
That also gave birth to me
So thank you C
You gave me life
And a goodly thing
For Petrie too
So when you hear the applause
It's well deserved
And you rock of course
Ootheg