Should I have stayed in?
Because when I left, there was someone who wanted to chat and that's a nice thing.
But I was set on going out and told her I'd be back in a few hours, which wouldn't be too late for her.
Only, she went off and did other things and probably knocked out if I had to guess.
So I made the wrong call when I decided to go out as I had gotten it set in my head?
Well, I wouldn't have had the drawings that I drew while I was out they were some good drawings and it is the art and the drawings that are the motivating factors for me so the answer has to be a resounding...
Maybe not?
I know, that's hardly resounding.
And it's not like she disappeared or nothiung right?
Besides, what was it going to be but anything more than a chat, which I can have just as easily the afternoon, tonight, tomorrow or three days from now because it's not like I'm gpoing to be e-mailed or messaged from anyone who I was hoping to be in a good place with for however long it would be a thing.
11 days was the limit it seems.
Oh, it was only 11 days, what's that? It's enough for me to be feeling all the feels that I am feeling.
But in the moment, I am not feeling of that.
Kuuanonni!
For the many to be happy to be happy, the few must suffer endlessly.
I think that's my takeaway.
And there aren't as many of the many who are happy.
Speaking of many, I do not have m,any words written and I've been at the office for more than an hour.
But if I sit here and let time pass without writing, I'm not going to get much done.
It;s just past ten in the morning and I was thinking back on the days of Saturday morning cartoons.
Thirty years ago, I had just graduated and I was still watching cartoons, I will always watch cartoons.
And Saturday Morning Cartoons was still a thing.
The misery pile of relations that never happened or were all too brief was much shorter then too.
Swear.
Is it ever going to happen?
Swear again.
I was also ten years away from deciding to try and be successful with writing.
And 27 years away from finding a lasting desire to draw.
So many missed out on years.
Swear here too.
What might I have watched on a Saturday morning 30 years ago.
Looking at the schedule, while I saw three shows of some interest, I can't be certin that I was watching any of them.
It was so much simpler then.
And of course, I had so much less failure in my life.
Also. The hardest hits hadn't yet been lived into.
Less shiite that I had done too.
Would I want to go back to those simpler days?
No, I need the daily doiung of writing and drawing and can make this work to help with the cost of living, even if it feels highly improbabble.
As for some kind of happiness with someone for longer than the length of a waking dream?
Damned if I know.
All I know is that the odds of both are low, with the good relating in is lower.
Yeah, I should have stayed in right? Stayed to chat with the woman that was there to be chatted with.
Especially since I can't say with any certainty that we will chat again, because we did chat briefly.
Am I always goiung to make the wrong decision when it comes to the dealings with women in pursuit of the lasting?
That's a swear.
I am looking forward, not to worry about that, but I'm certainly looking back on the past, when I was younger and thinner.
Sad swear.
Swear me. I'm up to three comments here.
Swear.
Maybe I should just go back to bed and return in the afternoon and write that story that popped into my head earlier.
I think I might actually do that because I can load up on the writing tonight and still help me on the way to elevating this lesser month sneak into a tenth place finish.
Sorry that the Practice Charles experience is as sadsack as it is today. It's just what I'm feeling right now.
Odds are very high that this August will end up being the 10th ranked month as far as the harvest, which is less than what I needed but, not dangerously low that I am like oh swear.
Don't do it, I think. You've lightly interacted with her, if at all, outside of being mutual follows over at that site which was was the source of the pathos and while that was a lovely stretch of days, the ending was sudden and rather on the hard side.
Swear.
So what did I do?
Of course.
Swear again.
I need the six months don't I?
Or maybe a year
Of course that would cut it close to the lead up to my 50th birthday but that's never been a time of dating,
Fine I was dating my first girlkfriend when I celebrated a birthday but it was long distance by then and she was my first girlfriend so, there was no joyful birthdaying.
So that doesn't matter.
And while I got a goodly response to a queation about how a friend would pitch me if he was trying to set me up, that doesn't mean any setups are forthcoming.
Maybe it's for the best anyway because I haven't had the six months that I could probably use, but will not take.
There's almost the feel of poetry here
Not written for anyone dear
Because that's a thing of the past
And though I knew it couldn't last
Did it have to end so soon
And as it did
Apparently so
What do I know
I'm the Captain of
Facked by love
And it ain't all me
And my stupidity
But that just might be
The tale that's told
Well, noon's around the corner.
Here's as good a place as any for me to bring the writing to an end.
Kuuanonnii
This will be a long string of swears that I am feeling because MWOD has decided to go on a 70 year hike through a cloud of Super Not Responding To Me after stealing, or at least attempting to steal the 804 words from the 2nd quarter this morning.
Believe you me I will be swearing a lot more in this post if MWOD doesn't come to heel because that almost four times what I wrote in the 1st and whatever I write in the 3rd isn't going to be much, even though it will be provided through the goodly harvesting Practice Charles.
And to think I travelled through time past the anger I was feeling in the wake of the unexpected ending of something good that never should have ended like that.
I mean, everything ends and sooner than I would like because that's my history with women but like it did it did the for the reasons that it did are so shitty that I didn't see that happening.
And I certainly didn't see MWOD going on this stupidly long journey Super Not Responding after it tried to steal those 804 words.
Hey, it hasn't gotten away with thenm yet, though it probably will.
There are time where I lose words and what else would you call it when that is what a device does?
It's stealing.
And I have to record this in my records even though I'd rather not have to.
Believe you me, I get in a mood of the swearing when this happens, especially when it would ber so much easier for me to three field it today . Not that I have to to make this the 10th ranked month in the standings, but that would be better than falling short.
So I can do it with the stolen words but right now, I'm looking at a need of almost 25 rows harvested and I have less than 40 minutes to harvest as many rows as I can. A harvest size that won't be more than 7 rows at best, which still leaves me needing to harvest two whole fields.
That's a lot of fields to harvest on A Saturday Night, not that I'm going out or anything, or going to be chatting or thinking about a someone special, as impractical as that thinking is for a variety of reasons that are no longer in consdieration because that is no longer a thing even though I clearly wish that it still was.
Wow, let me take a breath here and cast my mind back to earlier Saturdays growing up when Saturday was, as it is is now, a day for Hamburgers. THose were good burgers and the misery, a little more to the muted with each passing day, wasn't the same in the latter years of my living there in the proper age.
Yeah, I asked out the first girl in elementary and it did not go well and I took it very poorly. Dare I say it dramatically.
But that is ancoient history now, relative to today and there ain't nothing that I can do about it.
Not without a time machine of course.
And the breaking of the timestream, which I wouldn't do.
Even if I had access to a time machine.
Yeah, when I think back to my life and if I could change things, I go back far.
Too damn far that I would be reliving 41 years if I dared to.
Obviously if I was writing a story with time travel, it would violate the timestream like that, but as I think about it in the real world as it pertains to me, this is what I think.
Also, how do we know we wouldn't make the same mistake again, or do something else equally stupid in spite of being armed with this knowledge?
Of course the point is moot.
Cool, I am harvesting hard and am going to harvest way more than 7 rows and in fact should be able to harvest ten.
Sadly, all of this harvesting before MWOD release the file and I am able to save the stolen words.
Swear. Though it's a calm swear as I remain hopeful but losing the 804 words won't hurt me in the end as I am harvesting hard and will be obliged to harvest fewer than 2 whole fields tonight.
Though it might as well be two fields seeing as I am going to run out of time to harvest and will be forced to mourn thre loss of those stolen words.
Swear!
And because that file has the writing since the 26th that could be affected as well. Though I'm fortunately caught up on the posting here.
As far as Today's Fish goes through yesterday.
I think.
I'm not entirely sure.
That would suck if MWOD stole more than just the 804 words and managed to steal more.
Swears at MWOD.
Swears again.
Can it just realease it already?
Like before I have to leave.
Man alive.
And now I' slowing down as I've slipped past 8 rows and have enough time, in practice, to finish uo this practice with a full field, maybe a little more.
It's raining outside isn't it?
Or it has rained.
Oh well, I already wore the jeans again and the boots are ready to put on and I have the umbrella at the ready so I am not going to let a little rain stop me from enjoying myself a good hamburger supper.
Though the meat is not going to be beef because that's too much beef for me to be able to safely eat.
So it's veal or pork that I am obliged to buy, which doesn't taste as good as da beef.
But it's still burgers on Saturday, so yum and yum some more.
Huzzah!
One field here I come with just enough time to celebrate and send the words to MWOD.
And still MWOD is being a complete swear and not releasing the file.
Swear!
Wow, I should have less than a field to harvest, thanks to what whould have been back to back goodly harvests of 8 rows and a full field, but won't be thanks to the theft at the hands of MWOD which doesn't even have hands.
Instead, I have alomost 17 rows to harvest tonight to reach the harvesting of three fields.
Swear. Does life have it in for me this week or what?
Wow!
That actually worked out in my favour?
I didn't lose the words?
Holy swear, but in relief.
And now I have less than 9 rows to harvest which I can do with ease long before the night ends, which means, since I'm not going out tonight unless a woman from the Meh Stupid dating site sent me a message saying you want to come out to Da Place and have a drink with me....
Ha ha ha ha!
Sigh.
I'm staying in.
So once again, the idea of harvesting a 4th field is in my head.
And I have a story in mind too.
Yes, it's a sad one.
But first, to the supperance because my stomach is feeling the need for food.
Of course, while I'm waiting, I can also write, since the words don't write themselves.
And if they could, what would they need us for?
Now that could be a good story.
Tick tick tick.
I am writing slowly as the haburgers, which are beef tonight, woo hoo, cook in the oven.
And I have burger buns this time, which is the way that it should be in both cases.
That took forever.
It was good, don't get me wrong, but it took forever to have supper and now I have an hour and a bit to write 651 words as of the last count.
That's certainly doable.
Sadly, what seems to not be doable is for the Canucks to play very well against the Knights in the odd games as the Knights are up 2-0 in the 1st.
Ugh.
Oh and it seems like I said something I should have said to the woman that I was referring to when I write that I shouldn't.
Shakes my head at myself.
Hey, I'm good at displeasing women. If there was asuch a thing as superpowers, it would be mine.
Not that I was looking to make a deeper connection than we have as we are both on two of the same social media sites.
Though it shouldn't have been a thing since there was another comment on the same wavelength.
Sigh.
More and more, I'm thinking about a break from trying to interact with women on a personal level.
Though that is easier said than done.
I don't know that I'm going to reach the 3000 word level, or, in what seems like forever since it's been that long since I used the term, the First Good Peak. Not tonight.
In fact I'm more inclined to bring it to an end as I'm not feeling the words and there certainly won't be no story.
There's won't be no story
Of sadness or glory
Not tonight alas
And not because
I got knocked on my ass
By some new thing
I'm just not feeling it
And the goal of slipping it past
The next good goal
Is well in hand
So you must understand
Why the goodly drive
Is what it is
Rather in the lacking
So I'll not be attacking
The rest of the night
With a loud old cry
Of write write write
And write some more
Like times before
But this ain't no cause for concern
Still do I burn
With the writer's fire
I still desire
The title of
The Millionist Of Montreal
And don't that beat all
Little 'ole me
Master of poetry
And competent writer
Doing such a thing
That hardly anyone else
Can surely do
And all the greater
This thing would be
If it made mony for me
But only time will tell
As I have to up and ask
For goodly support
From somewhere yes
That fingers crossed
Will say yes indeed
You're the Canadian we need
To support like this
There won't be no story
Of sadness or glory
But with the verse
I feel no worse
Than a writer writing
Yes good enough
On a Saturday night
And thanks to that poetry, I have only to harvest little more than two rows before I have harvested three or more fields for the fourth time since the most unfortunate Tuesday that I can think of in recent memory.
Oh bother.
So I'm not going to be chatting with that woman who was keen to chat with me last night am I?
Nope.
Though since we only chatted for a few minutes and there was nothing amazing in those minutes, is it somethign to be lamented?
No, but I'm going to lament it anyway.
Of course, it could well be that she conflated me with someone else.
That would be fitting right? Or just in keeping with myu life.
“I thought you were somebody else.”
I need to take the six months don't I?
Swear, but not seriously irked, just like thinking, so close, yet so far.
At this point i have to stay and get across the finish line and harvest the fullness of three fields even though there ain't no women who want to chat with me.
It would hardly be the first time.
Sigh.
And then when a woman does want to chat, I say I'm going out like I did last night or I type something to offend
Good job stupid.
Am I there yet?
For the love of...
Thankfully I was just short of the mark and I am there now.
Kuuanonnii.